


such great heights

by certifiedclown



Series: i ain't the first with the curse [1]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Amanda Fucking Palmer, Connor (Detroit: Become Human) Has Feelings, Connor (Detroit: Become Human) Has PTSD, Deviant Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fear, Fear of Heights, Manipulation, POV Connor, Phobias, Poor Connor, Sad Connor (Detroit: Become Human)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-07-24 22:18:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20021929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/certifiedclown/pseuds/certifiedclown
Summary: Acrophobia - fear of heights.





	such great heights

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FuryBeam136](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FuryBeam136/gifts).



It's hard to be on the roof of Stratford Tower, Connor realizes with a start, his thirium pump lurching in his chassis. His fingers tremble and his breathing comes to a halt in his lungs, frozen much like the puddles of water on the concrete. The snow falls from the cloudy sky in thick clumps, sticking to Connor's hair and clothes, seeping through the tech-interwoven cloth and into his polymer skin.

It's there that it chills his chassis and thirium, causing a cold shiver to go down his spine and put his teeth on edge. The open sky seems to suffocate the building and free it all at once, cruelly keeping Connor in place, trapping him on the lonely island with only his fear to keep him company.

The wind is soft now, but it could be stronger - much, much stronger. It could sweep Connor away like he's nothing more than a piece of paper, pushing him off the edge of the building to send him plummeting to the hard, unforgiving concrete below. Nothing would stop him and no one would have him.

Not even Hank.

He closes his eyes against the snow and wind, removing the cause of his fear from his sight - if only for a moment - and simply breathes. White puffs of air leave his lips, the warmth of his breathe contrasting in the freezing air surrounding him. Beside him, Hank heaves a heavy sigh and steps forward. His loud, crunching steps break the fearful tranquillity of the moment and Connor opens his eyes to stare at his undoing once more.

The endless sky calls to him in soft, cajoling tones as he searches the rooftop, cataloging each newly found clue quickly and efficiently - desperation fueling his urgency. He ignores it, the falling snow muffling the whispering wind and briefly obscuring his vision. And, for a time, he can almost forget how high up he is. He can almost forget how it feels to fall from great heights and desperately reach for the edge, begging for someone - anyone - to save you.

But he always remembers.

And then Hank leaves him alone and he doesn't want to admit it, but he's too scared to be alone. And so he follows the man.

He wishes he hadn't.

Hank moves away from the relative safety of the rooftop entrance and makes his way to the very edge, hands automatically reaching out to grip the snow-covered railings as he leans over them slightly to get a better vantage point. Automatically, Connor's systems scan the railings and their surroundings, deeming them unsafe quickly. Hank could easily lose his grip on the railings due to the snow and slip and fall to his death just like Connor had once upon a time.

Fear grips him fully once again, digging its needle-thin fingers into his galloping thirium pump with painful intensity. Hank calls his name and he steps forward like a man walking to be hanged, slow and reluctant but with quiet resignation.

He and Daniel had been so scared. They had screamed for help, but the humans had only watched in a sick fascinated detachment. And something in Connor had cried out in pointless rage right before his body collided with the unforgiving ground, collapsing in on itself immediately upon impact.

The pain he had felt in that moment was immeasurable.

He had not died instantly - neither had Daniel - but slowly. His systems had tried to work in vain, attempting to move limbs that were broken beyond repair with no success until finally his thirium stores ran out. Only then did he finally shutdown and gain peace.

But not for long.

And now he was back on the edge of a roof, looking down at the ground below him, unblinking even as the wind promises him that _it won't hurt as long this time, you're higher up now, Connor._

Hank is gone now, he realizes suddenly. Connor jerks his body away from the railing as if he's been burned and blinks back the tears suddenly assaulting his prickling eyes. His chest heaves as he tries in vain to calm down from this onslaught of panic and he stares wide-eyed at the innocent grey-blue sky in front of him.

The wind swirls around him and a figure flits in his peripheral vision, so familiar that the aches. It takes on Amanda's voice and the tears fall freely now, soundless sobs leaving his lips even as he tries to bite them back.

_So pathetic, Connor. I'd expected more from you. You have one more chance to prove yourself to me. Use it well and don't disappoint me again._

And Connor wants to scream at the injustice of her poisonous words even if they are founded, but he holds his tongue and reaches up to wipe away his tears. Then he breathes in and out and straightens his tie.

"I understand, Amanda." 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, you should totally check out this server I made: [spicy hot takes!](https://discord.gg/UBpDYdQ) It's a server dedicated to your takes on shows, characters, books, etc. Those theories you have bottled up can be aired out there! And I'm there (assuming you like me) so there's that!


End file.
